Study 1: “Search My Heart Oh God”
Introduction
To continue Study 1, please click “more”
Discovering OurHeart’sCry
Have you ever experienced a time, or perhaps continually struggle with a feeling which you’d describe as being at your “lowest,” but you just can’t explain why you are feeling this way? Everything in your life is “all right” for the most part, and yet you sense that something just is “off.” It’s keeping you from experiencing a full and contented life. What word or emotion comes to mind to describe that feeling?
This question was posed to several people via text message and e-mail stating, “When you feel at your ‘lowest’ and can’t explain why, what word/emotion comes to mind?” Within a minute, responses were coming in! Some responses to describe their emotions were as follows: “lonely, bitter, abandoned, overwhelmed, depressed, inadequate, lost, down, discouraged, used, failure, empty, numb, worthless, distressed, despair.” Clearly people are experiencing what the question posed, and could quickly respond with an answer. Another interesting observation was that a few people asked, “Are you ok?” shortly after they gave their response to the question. (We’ll dig into that in our next study). If you were asked this same question, what would your answer be? What would the cry of your heart be? Would you like to find out?
We are about to begin a journey. This journey will enable us to seek out, discover, reveal in Truth, and ultimately rejoice over and in our OurHeart’sCry through the next four studies. We will do this by committing to memory God’s Word, praying specifically in that Word, and seeking the Lord for wisdom and guidance in each study. As we progress through these studies, the Holy Spirit will reveal our hearts cry to us individually. We’ll discover there are many hearts cries that God wants to deliver His children from; turning them into blessings which we’ll want to share with others!
Please note that the next four studies are in sequential order, and should be approached in this way. However, the time frame that we may spend individually on each subject matter may vary. God is working in each one of our hearts personally.
~On a personal heart’s cry note, I spent 2 ½ years desperately seeking (nearly 20 years unknowingly seeking!) what my heart’s cry was (Study 1), in comparison to a few months in Studies 2 (Revealing The Truth) and 3 (BeStill), before what’s covered in Study 4 (Rejoicing!) could occur in my life.~ Be patient, and God will reveal your heart’s cry to you; if you are willing to take the journey.
Heart’sCry Study 1
“Search My Heart Oh God”
Today we are going to seek out what at this present moment we don’t know or understand: the cry of our hearts. It is my prayer that through your decision to begin this study, you may already be in the process of trying to figure out the answer you gave in response to the question, “When you feel at your “lowest” and you can’t explain why, what word/emotion comes to mind?” Welcome! Let’s begin our search!
Each study will include a Scripture verse to commit to memory, and pray specifically in. Our Scripture verse for Study 1 is:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart.
Try me, and know my thoughts.
And see if there be any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23-24
In order to understand our heart’s cry, we need to ask God to reveal it to us. Psalm 139:23-24 is a perfect place to begin. “Search me, Oh God…” As we ask God to search our hearts, He will begin to refine us.
Refining
One of the methods by which gold is refined is through a process called cupellation. Lead is added to unrefined gold, and then heated to a very high temperature. As the heat increases, the gold dissolves into the lead. Oxidation occurs, producing end products of lead oxide and pure gold bullion. After being refined, the gold is free of impurities and better suited for its intended purpose.
God will work in our lives in a similar manner if we are willing to let Him. As we come before Him in prayer, He will begin to purge the “impurities” out of our lives. The issues, circumstances, and choices we have made that have kept our hearts in captivity (bondage, imprisonment) from the full and abundant life He wants us to have will be revealed. We may not like what we see, and may even “debate” whether what we are beginning to understand and see in ourselves is truth or not. This is not an easy process! The “impure” feelings, thought patterns, behaviors, and habits that have held you captive for so long will not want to let go without a fight. Trust that God is “refining” you during this search for your heart’s cry. He is faithful to His Word, and will answer your prayers.
A Personal Heart’sCry (Searching):
For years, I’ve struggled with feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, defeat at every “failure,” and a host of other emotions brought about through some very difficult circumstances in life. This had destroyed my sense of self-worth, worth to others, and my worth in God’s sight (as I saw it!). Negative emotions and thought patterns were set in my mind long ago, which only intensified in duration and frequency as time went on.
When personal achievements came, inner thoughts would remind me this would be short-lived because of what I had been trained to believe (I’m worthless, inadequate, useless). My negative thoughts and reactions had become habitual.
God has blessed immeasurably in so many areas. However, times that should have brought joy and fulfillment were always mixed with an underlying feeling and thought in my mind of “He must not realize it’s me He’s blessing…I really didn’t do much, nor do I have the ability to do anything well enough to earn His favor.” Foolish thinking I know, because God ALWAYS knows what He is doing, but that’s where I was. I was trapped, and didn’t even realize it. It had become a lifestyle that I saw as nothing but normal.
Over time, I began to notice a change taking place. Something in me knew this just didn’t make sense anymore. In recent years I’d grown closer in my relationship with Jesus, and as I surrendered more of my life to Him and His will, God began working in ways I never knew possible. Wonderful things began to transpire that were clearly led by the Spirit…areas in which He was calling me to serve Him; to use those opportunities He placed before me to share His love with others. It was an exciting time, yet a time of great internal struggle as well. I experienced such peace, love, and a passion to fulfill His will like never before. When you combine this with all the negative thoughts and assumptions of how I viewed myself, it’s no wonder things didn’t make sense! Confusion had set in where there once was only an acceptance of normalcy to my negative mindset. Could I have been wrong in my thinking, my attitudes, myself?
This emotional roller coaster was wearing me down! I knew God’s call to serve Him, and earnestly wanted to fulfill it with all of my heart, but I was still constantly being reminded that “He certainly could find someone better than me to do this.” My mind had paralyzed my heart, and therefore my actions. It was crying out to be free, and I was finally at a point of listening.
I didn’t know it at the time, but God was working through it all to bring about His purpose and plan. My hearts cry was being revealed every step of the way. He was drawing me closer to Him through His Word. Daily, I began to pray Psalm 139:23-24….
“Search me O God, and know my heart,” He had been patiently waiting all along for me to ask! I was now ready to seek it out. I had a strong desire to know, to be free from whatever this was that was keeping my heart captive.
“Try me, and know my thoughts.” Had I known what I was praying exactly at that time, I’m not so certain I would have! But He did answer, and just as I had prayed, He tried me. Through this process (recall the refining mentioned above), I began to know my thoughts. Psalm 139:23 in the New King James Version states, “know my anxious thoughts.” I sure had a lot of anxiety about situations going on in my life, which I now realized had molded, pressed in, and reinforced the negative feelings towards myself.
“See if there be any wicked way in me,” I didn’t like what I saw, or what I was allowing to go on in my life. My thought pattern and how I saw myself was so wicked. There were also wicked (sinful) areas, situations and circumstances in my life that I was allowing to affect how I saw myself, what I was led to believe were truth! I was believing a lie. God loved me, and no matter what brought about this misled thinking, I had a “wicked way in me” of doubting God and what and who He says I am. I was not trusting in Him or His strength.
“And lead me in the way everlasting.” Yes Lord! This one I liked! Of course, once again…I didn’t know what lie ahead!
This time of searching and seeking revealed so much. The search brought intense trials and testings, rivers of tears, sorrows, and many heartaches. I tend to be stubborn, and that made the struggles even more difficult as I at times resisted or ignored what was being revealed to me! Many times it felt like I was taking two steps forward, and then one step back! I’d make great gains in understanding what He was showing me was wrong in my life, but stubbornly be unwilling to change myself or any situations that needed to be dealt with. The search to know my heart’s cry was not an easy one by any means, but looking back, I’d have it no other way. It is my prayer that you will feel the same once you discover your heart’s cry.
Can you relate to any of this? Is your heart crying out, telling you there’s something you’re missing, but you just don’t know what? As mentioned earlier, our heart’s cries may differ, but our God is more than capable of answering each of us individually! He is waiting for you to ask Him to help you search your heart, and to know your heart. He will be faithful. Will you continue on as we travel this road together?
Closing Prayer:
Lord, You are so worthy to be praised. Your goodness to us is more than we deserve, yet we are ever thankful to You for it. I thank you for what You reveal to our hearts in Your perfect time, and according to Your will. I pray that those in this study will ask You to search them O God, and to know their hearts. Try them, and help them to know their thoughts. Make known any wickedness (sinful areas) in them, and Lord lead them in the way everlasting. Keep them in Your watchful care till we meet again. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Scripture taken from The Holy Bible ~ King James Version
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
OurHeart’sCry Personal Journal Entry ~ Study 1
“Search My Heart Oh God”
Bible Memory Verse and Prayer: Commit to memory Psalm 139:23-24. Incorporate these verses into your daily prayers. Pray often throughout your day (“pray without ceasing.” I Thessalonians 5:17), and allow God to reveal His truths to you:
Search me O God, and know my heart,
Try me, and know my thoughts.
And see if there be any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
1) What was your response to the question posed In the opening of lesson 1 which stated, “When you feel at your ‘lowest’ and can’t explain why, what word/emotion comes to mind?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2) What did God reveal to you as you read through Study 1? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3) As you begin to commit to memory and pray Psalm 139:23-24, what is God beginning to make known to you? Remember the refiners fire example: What is God making known to you as impurities in your life? Is He exposing any areas that have held you captive? Your hearts cry is being revealed to you! _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
As God works in your life, and reveals things to you, praise Him! “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Stand strong and have faith in His Word!
Open forum: If you’d like to share what the Lord is revealing to you, or if you have any prayer requests, please send them to publishingHisname@gmail.com or in the comment section on main web page. We will post them in our Prayer & Praise section so our OurHeart’sCry Team and others in this study can be in prayer with you! God Bless~
Filed under: News! by vicki
Leave a Reply